As of lately there has been an epic increase of celebrity women who are running up on married men and thinking nothing of it. So, I asked one of my writing peers and a good friend of mine to weigh in on the topic. I asked her because I wanted it to come from a place of love and most importantly from a happily married woman’s point of view. Aisha Curry is the Bestselling Author of Pretty For A Black Girl. Check out her words of wisdom concerning the anti-jump off law, the union of marriage, and who to blame.
Does this sound familiar to anyone?
From this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.
These are the vows that most people say when they become married. Somehow, these are simply words that are said, and left with little action. Love is a verb; that requires action. It seems as if we live in a world full of cheaters, lairs, and manipulators. Does anyone know the meaning of the words married, monogamous, or faithful anymore? Why are men and women in a constant debate about whose worse in cheating? I for one do not condone a cheater there is no excuse for a married man or woman to cheat. I have to admit I am on the fence with this anti-jump off law. I secretly smile inside over the fact that someone passed this law. Adultery is a sin, so naturally it should have a consequence just the same as when you commit a crime.
Women who choose to date married men should be ashamed of themselves. Women you have got to have more standards for yourself, along with faith that you can have a husband of your own. I know it looks scarce out there. But, if we continue to allow men to get and do as they please we are not setting good examples nor setting a level of respect for ourselves. It’s a selfish desire of wanting to be wanted by someone. Nevertheless, if you were that woman whose husband was sneaking around on you, you wouldn’t like it. Sadly but true, I had three very close love ones suffer from infidelity in their marriage. In just this summer alone; all three women whose husbands cheated, cheated with women who knew they were MARRIED. I wish that law stood in California, because after seeing the pain that these women endured, all awhile trying to fight for their marriages with prayer and counseling. I wish that they could have the self-gratification to sue that other woman.
From a married woman’s point of view I would be livid if my husband cheated on me. And, to find out the woman whom he cheated on me with knew he was married. Nonetheless, my question is why do we get so upset with the other woman for cheating with our husbands? I for one would be more disgusted in my husband than the other woman. She has no ties to me, no obligations, and after all he took those vows. So why would I sue her? I do on the contrary find it very disrespectful. Some women can be very manipulating creatures. They know exactly where to get a man and how to get him there. Know this is no justification for him at all, because no matter how you fell into the trap you’re still guilty. What is his penalty? I’m sure that in a divorce she would reap something but there should be some law against that as well. It may as well be fair. Men better wise up and women need to learn to respect themselves a little more. It is funny how men know their worth, but we better learn ours.
The first celebrity in which I heard about, who fall ashamed to this anti-jump off law was Fantasia from American Idol. She should have known better not to mess with a married man. And, when you are in the public eye or someone who is very fortunate, you have to use better judgment because nine times out of ten you’re an easy target anyway. This is a sue crazed world we live in. I don’t know how she felt so care free to air her dirty laundry in public in the first place. Celebrities are just as bad as the girl next door, they have dirt too. We see a lot of them dipping off with married men for instance Gabriel Union, Alicia Keys and etc. These are women who could have any man that they want, and yet they want the one that’s married. If he loves you make him get a divorce before you go around claiming he’s your boyfriend or boy toy. Set some standards ladies and make these men do the right thing. Ladies!! Stop trespassing on someone else’s property. If it doesn’t say divorce! Guess what? Their married…….
“Stop justifying wrong and simply do what’s right”
Aisha Curry
Thats right Girl. I agree with you 100%. Men (and people in general) will only get away with what YOU ALLOW them to get away with. It's time for us as women to stop settling for second place and patiently wait on God to send OUR own man, instead of messing with someone elses. You reap what you sow and who's to say that whenever these "other women" finally get ready to settle down with their OWN man, that he will not do the same thing to her because….like I said You reap what you sow. We as women need to stop being so desperate that we will not have any standards on who we chose, and how we get a man.
Comment by Sandra — August 23, 2010 @ 2:44 pm