Bossip.com posted and exclusive with Ray J’s most recent freak of the week or love interest per his contract on FOR THE LOVE OF RAY J. Here’s exactly how and why ish popped off the way it did.

My whole experience with Ray J was an emotional roller coaster. I knew that going into the show to date him would be a challenge but what I didn’t expect was to fall for him as hard as I did.

I had my doubts about finding love on a reality show, but you would have to be in my shoes and go through the situations, intimate conversations, and having production drill Love, Love, Love into your head everyday really to understand the mind trip it takes you on.

Aside from Ray’s looks and success he is a truly amazing person. Although he tends to have that “Hollywood bad boy” swag, he is very down to earth, giving, considerate, kind, and funny. Simply put, he stole my heart.

Just like any other relationship we took it day by day. We would hang out, have fun, laugh, share stories, and watch TV. Over time as we got to know each other more and more he would tell me things and often times they would hurt my feelings. I guess the brutal truth about him not being exclusive with me and still “hooking up” with girls made me realize that it wasn’t going to work. I hate feeling like I failed and let’s be real no woman likes to quit a relationship so I tried to stick it out. I wanted to be his only one not just his number one.

After awhile Ray eventually realized that I was truly genuine and sat me down to tell me that we were not going to work out. Then the Season 2 bomb was dropped on me. What makes me mad is that I asked him if there was going to be a season 2 and he lied to my face. He sweet talked me both times I asked. Aside from that, the breaking point was when we went on tour. He didn’t come back to the room at night and I heard the whispers about him being in other rooms with girls. It made me mad because he knew he could be honest with me but he chose not to be. At this point, I emotionally checked out.

I want to make it clear that I did not go on this show looking for fame. Those who know me know I live a pretty great life. When you go on a reality show it doesn’t matter what your intentions are because other people’s expectations take over and you just have to go with it. I am blessed that this show has opened up doors for me that weren’t there before and I plan on taking advantage of them for sure.

So thank you to the Bossip.com readers for checking this out. Bossip is by far my favorite source for updates and what’s new and hot. I don’t read anything else.

P.S. I have no problem with Tila Tequila. I honestly don’t know what her problem with me is but I don’t have one with her. If she wants to call me names, talk shit about me and be all “bad ass” on the internet that’s her right but I have more class than that. I think she’s great.

xoxo,

Cocktail